Let me tell you a little story...
There is a Southern belle I know that's pretty non-traditional when it comes to planning her wedding. She asked for two things BEFORE her sweetheart proposed: to book their wedding venue and a wedding date first. That left him free to propose whenever he wanted before they got married.
Whaaaaaat?!? Yeah, I know, pretty non-traditional!
This bride wants a steel-blue floral-print wedding dress, no veil, and bridesmaids in pantsuits. She's adamant about having a first look and is excited to walk herself down the aisle. The best part? No bouquet toss, either!
She isn't trying to be different for the sake of being different. She's trying to be herself, even if that means discarding quite a few traditions that just don't fit who they are as a couple.
That non-traditional girl is me.
My apparel choices have morphed into something altogether different, but I still have no intention of wearing a white wedding dress. We've also decided to compromise on a few things (namely the first look because he's much more traditional than me). That's the beauty of a great relationship. We agreed to 'lose' the traditions that don't mean that much to us and keep the ones that matter.
As a wedding planner I talk to couples every day that dream of a non-traditional wedding, but the fear of hurt feelings or not doing what is 'expected' of them keeps them from having the wedding they want.
It's OKAY to be a non-traditional couple! We're all made up of different life stories and experiences. What's traditional in one family may be unheard of in others. Don't let others dictate your wedding. Get rid of the phrases "must" and "have to" in relation to your wedding planning. Those have negative connotations and your wedding planning should be joyous and fun.
So if you have your heart set on a bold, eclectic, out-of-the-box (or whatever adjective you choose) wedding, then by all means have exactly what you want! Don't worry about current wedding trends or what's always been done.
Dream as big as your mind will allow. It's your wedding. Be creative and have fun. As long as you're authentic to your personalities, then your wedding will be beautiful. Discard any tradition that doesn't make the two of you smile. And, hey, if being a super traditional couple IS you, then rock them all and be happy! Just don't feel like you have to include a tradition for tradition's sake.
Your wedding planner's job is to give you what you've always dreamed about, no matter how out there it is by traditional standards. If they aren't giving you what you're after or they tell you it can't be done, do yourself a favor and find yourself a different team of wedding creatives. Surround yourself with people that will help you achieve your wedding vision instead of trying to make it fit into their traditional mold.
Repeat after me: It's YOUR wedding day and it can look & feel however you want!
I'd love to hear which traditions you want to keep for your wedding and which ones you want to lose. This is a judgment-free zone so share away in the comments!!